We have been so blessed by family and friends who have supported us, loved on us, served us, cared for us, gave to us, asked about us, prayed for us and cried with us through this adoption journey....that is still far from over.
I read this adoption blog today that I am posting for you to read. It's beautifully written and although I am so thankful that I had not had any friends or family ostracize me in this crazy journey, this blog describes me in many ways. I'm posting it so you can understand more of why I can act like a adoptive lunatic sometimes. :)
It's mainly for the group of friends at that child's birthday party almost 2 years ago that I told in excitement about the incredible opportunity to adopt children quickly, painlessly, and ethically from the Marshall Islands. There were plenty of children needing families and I assumed they all would have been interested. I quickly realized from the looks I got from them that maybe I was becoming a bit unusual and hard to connect with. Ha!
http://amomentcherished.blogspot.com/2014/01/how-to-support-family-who-is-adopting.html?m=1
Friday, January 17, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Monthly Care
The end of the this month marks our 21 months since turning in an application to begin our adoption process. We had no idea at that time that all of our speed bumps would put us here, almost 2 years later, without our boys home. I think the Lord knows we probably would not have started this path had we known. He knew our boys needed a family, that we would need our boys, and we were the ones he chose.
That being said, we are still waiting for this hold-up to pass. The initial call from our adopting country was "up to 12 months" and that was end of September that this statement was made. So we wait as patiently as possible, trying NOT to get caught up in the countless numbers of rumors that fly around in the adoption world about opening up sooner than said.
As we wait, we still have a financial responsibility to our kids. They have the luxury of being in a foster home and not an orphanage - to which we are TRULY thankful!! I honestly don't know how I could sleep peacefully each night if I didn't have this assurance that they are in a loving home being hugged, kissed, fed and clothed. When we purchased our flight tickets (twice!), we paid our last statement to our agency. Now that our travel plans are postponed, we still have a monthly responsibility for foster care for each son. When it's time to bring them home, we will have our travel expenses (this is not a cheap place to travel to) and then a $1000 re-adoption fee to a local adoption lawyer here. That is the remainder of our expenses.
This week I got our January bill for foster care and as I have for the last many, many months, I forwarded it to LifeSong. If you don't remember who LifeSong is, then you can read this post about this amazing ministry from last January. Today I received notice that the remainder of our LifeSong funds only paid for one third of our foster care bill.
I have started selling infinity scarves on Facebook that has been a HUGE help in raising funds for our adoption, but if you feel so led to donate to our adoption through an organization who provides your gift to be tax deductible, you can make a check to Lifesong for Orphans with our family number on it and mail to:
Lifesong for Orphans
That being said, we are still waiting for this hold-up to pass. The initial call from our adopting country was "up to 12 months" and that was end of September that this statement was made. So we wait as patiently as possible, trying NOT to get caught up in the countless numbers of rumors that fly around in the adoption world about opening up sooner than said.
As we wait, we still have a financial responsibility to our kids. They have the luxury of being in a foster home and not an orphanage - to which we are TRULY thankful!! I honestly don't know how I could sleep peacefully each night if I didn't have this assurance that they are in a loving home being hugged, kissed, fed and clothed. When we purchased our flight tickets (twice!), we paid our last statement to our agency. Now that our travel plans are postponed, we still have a monthly responsibility for foster care for each son. When it's time to bring them home, we will have our travel expenses (this is not a cheap place to travel to) and then a $1000 re-adoption fee to a local adoption lawyer here. That is the remainder of our expenses.
This week I got our January bill for foster care and as I have for the last many, many months, I forwarded it to LifeSong. If you don't remember who LifeSong is, then you can read this post about this amazing ministry from last January. Today I received notice that the remainder of our LifeSong funds only paid for one third of our foster care bill.
I have started selling infinity scarves on Facebook that has been a HUGE help in raising funds for our adoption, but if you feel so led to donate to our adoption through an organization who provides your gift to be tax deductible, you can make a check to Lifesong for Orphans with our family number on it and mail to:
Lifesong for Orphans
Attn: Fish Family #3227
P.O.
Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St.
Gridley,
IL 61744
We can't tell you how much we appreciate your love and support during the last 21 months. I can't wait to tell Jeshua and Jedidiah the myriads of people (friends, family and strangers) who prayed that the Lord would bring them safely and quickly home to us. You are all part of this story. Don't give up, please. We aren't!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Christmas Reminders of the Reality of our Situation
One the 8 days of Christmas, without our 2 boys home, we had
8 Turkish Stockings
7 Toys to send them
6 Fish Sticks waiting
5 Nativity Figures
4 Packed Suitcases
2 Christmas' without them
And 1 Hope Necklace so we don't lose hope!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Remember
This update is a bit late, but honestly, last week was rough.
The reality of what hit me - being on such a high - packing suitcases, making lists, planning for our absence, purchasing plane tickets - to everything halted indefinitely was hard. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it stripped me of some hope. Hope that my boys would ever make it home.
Another Christmas gone by without them celebrating with us. Would it mean another birthday when I couldn't bake them a cake and wrap them presents? Another Easter without matching shirts in our family photo? Another summer where their swimsuits would sit in their closets unused? I've changed all the clothes in their closet 3 times. I don't know how many more times I can do it without admitting myself into an institution. Each time I pack up the old clothes and get out the new ones means another size going up. Growing up without us.
Everything seemed to be coming together. We got our visa and our boys' visas all on the same day. It seemed like a miracle. BUT long ago we had decided there were 2 criteria that needed to happen to make us feel comfortable about traveling. Our agency was in agreement with us. 1. We needed to have our boys' visas in hand and 2. we needed to see movement in families within our agency leaving and coming home WITH their children. We got our visas but the families who had traveled to pick up their kids were still there....8 weeks later! There was a side of me that wanted to convince myself that just because their papers hadn't been granted, I shouldn't assume that our papers wouldn't be granted.
Our agency said to hold out. Within days, we learned that our country declared that all families were under the suspension from September that could last up to 12 months....regardless of paperwork and otherwise noted criteria (which we had met).
Was I glad we had not jumped on the plane? Had not already met and fallen in love with our boys? Had not been put in a place where we would have to return without them? Had not had the added expenses of a trip that would only result in a visit with the boys? YES to all. Does that mean that this news wasn't a huge blow? NO!
As hopeful and positive as I have felt during this roller coaster ride, this news made me realize how very weary I am. Tired of feeling obsessed. Tired of the mountains that turn quickly into valleys. I've been a fighting Mama for so long - since last February - and I'm tired. I want to rest. I want this to be over....with my boys home.
In my bathroom there is a frame. On my kitchen window there is a rock. Both these items have 1 word on them...the same word....REMEMBER.
What's that supposed to mean? It's my reminder that puts all things in perspective. It's the word that takes me back to a study I did years ago in Deuteronomy. The words that God told His people right before they entered the Promise Land. The land that they had longed for, talked about and dreamed about for so long.
The reality of what hit me - being on such a high - packing suitcases, making lists, planning for our absence, purchasing plane tickets - to everything halted indefinitely was hard. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it stripped me of some hope. Hope that my boys would ever make it home.
Another Christmas gone by without them celebrating with us. Would it mean another birthday when I couldn't bake them a cake and wrap them presents? Another Easter without matching shirts in our family photo? Another summer where their swimsuits would sit in their closets unused? I've changed all the clothes in their closet 3 times. I don't know how many more times I can do it without admitting myself into an institution. Each time I pack up the old clothes and get out the new ones means another size going up. Growing up without us.
Everything seemed to be coming together. We got our visa and our boys' visas all on the same day. It seemed like a miracle. BUT long ago we had decided there were 2 criteria that needed to happen to make us feel comfortable about traveling. Our agency was in agreement with us. 1. We needed to have our boys' visas in hand and 2. we needed to see movement in families within our agency leaving and coming home WITH their children. We got our visas but the families who had traveled to pick up their kids were still there....8 weeks later! There was a side of me that wanted to convince myself that just because their papers hadn't been granted, I shouldn't assume that our papers wouldn't be granted.
Our agency said to hold out. Within days, we learned that our country declared that all families were under the suspension from September that could last up to 12 months....regardless of paperwork and otherwise noted criteria (which we had met).
Was I glad we had not jumped on the plane? Had not already met and fallen in love with our boys? Had not been put in a place where we would have to return without them? Had not had the added expenses of a trip that would only result in a visit with the boys? YES to all. Does that mean that this news wasn't a huge blow? NO!
As hopeful and positive as I have felt during this roller coaster ride, this news made me realize how very weary I am. Tired of feeling obsessed. Tired of the mountains that turn quickly into valleys. I've been a fighting Mama for so long - since last February - and I'm tired. I want to rest. I want this to be over....with my boys home.
In my bathroom there is a frame. On my kitchen window there is a rock. Both these items have 1 word on them...the same word....REMEMBER.
What's that supposed to mean? It's my reminder that puts all things in perspective. It's the word that takes me back to a study I did years ago in Deuteronomy. The words that God told His people right before they entered the Promise Land. The land that they had longed for, talked about and dreamed about for so long.
REMEMBER Who I am.
REMEMBER I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery with my outstretched hand.
REMEMBER Who I am.
I am the Lord your God and there is no other.
I am your God and there is none like me.
REMEMBER when I fed you, I protected you, I spoke to you.
REMEMBER that I love you, I provide for you, I fought for you.
REMEMBER when I healed you, I forgave you and I adopted you as My own.
And if you will obey me and stay on the right path, REMEMBER I will bless you.
REMEMBER I will give you what you need.
REMEMBER I will fight for you, make you rich, bless you beyond what you can imagine.
REMEMBER I love you, I will care for you, I will be with you, I will protect you.
REMEMBER I go before you.
REMEMBER.
So then I went to Hebrews 11. The Hebrews Hall of Fame. Where ordinary people do extraordinary things because of their faith. And there I found a gentle reminder that it's not the time for me to rest right now. It's not the time for me to throw in the towel. It's not the time for me to give up. It's the time for me to REMEMBER who it is that we are adopting for. REMEMBER what He has done. REMEMBER what He can do. And REMEMBER that my job is obedience and faith.
God, grant me the faith in You to keep going in this "never-ending" process. During this holiday season of thanksgiving and reflection of the birth of your Son, may I praise you with all that I have for Who you are, what you have done and what you are going to do.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Crossing the Street
Journal entry from 11-21-2013
My feeling is strange. There is a huge disappointment, but there is a peace inside. I don't understand Your ways and Your paths, but I love you and I trust you. I know I'm holding Your hand. I might be pulling You in one direction and You might be turning to me saying, "No! Let's go this way." or "Wait and look both ways before we cross that street." The bottom line is I'm not letting go of Your hand. I know it's safe. It comforts me and I trust that if I don't let go, then we will arrive safely to our destination.
Right now I'm squeezing tight because I thought we were crossing the road together. I looked both ways and the road looked clear to cross. But You...You are taller than me. You see what I do not see and You pulled me back. You said it was not safe to cross. Not yet. We will wait until its safe. I whined a little because I was ready and anxious to go and so excited that the traffic finally seemed clear, but ultimately I don't want the consequences of crossing without Your foresight. I've waited so long to get to the end of this journey and I know I can wait longer...as long as I'm holding Your hand.
My feeling is strange. There is a huge disappointment, but there is a peace inside. I don't understand Your ways and Your paths, but I love you and I trust you. I know I'm holding Your hand. I might be pulling You in one direction and You might be turning to me saying, "No! Let's go this way." or "Wait and look both ways before we cross that street." The bottom line is I'm not letting go of Your hand. I know it's safe. It comforts me and I trust that if I don't let go, then we will arrive safely to our destination.
Right now I'm squeezing tight because I thought we were crossing the road together. I looked both ways and the road looked clear to cross. But You...You are taller than me. You see what I do not see and You pulled me back. You said it was not safe to cross. Not yet. We will wait until its safe. I whined a little because I was ready and anxious to go and so excited that the traffic finally seemed clear, but ultimately I don't want the consequences of crossing without Your foresight. I've waited so long to get to the end of this journey and I know I can wait longer...as long as I'm holding Your hand.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Revolving Door
There's a familiar saying among the Christian community: "When God closes one door, He opens another door." I do believe that is true and I also believe that God guides us in His will by closing and opening doors as we pursue obedience to Him in prayer and His Word.
This morning My Man was woken up by a horrible Charlie Horse at 5:15 a.m. Since it wasn't exactly a situation that encourages sleep when it was over and so close to the time the alarm would be ringing, he checked email. The email that we have been waiting for since January finally came. Our boys' visa was ready!! What joy filled our hearts as we realized that it truly could be a reality that we leave to Africa the day after tomorrow.
Several hours later, just minutes before I picked up the phone to dial the travel agent and re-book our flight, we got a call. A call from our agency to hold out. It appears that there is a lull right now on the completion of adoptions. She didn't want us traveling until things settled and folks were coming home unless we were able to stay indefinitely.
You might think I would have hung up and burst into tears. It's happened many time in this process. You might also think that despair and intense desperation would consume me all day. That's happened multiple times too. But it was strange. I felt a peace. Yes, we were highly disappointed, but there was a peace deep inside. All I can say to explain it is that we have been plunging forward with a passion like a Mama Bear getting her cubs. All the while as we plunge forward, we pray constantly for the Lord to guide us in each step. When a door is shut, I know THE ONE who shut it. I can praise God knowing that this is His hand guiding us. With the roller coaster we've been on, especially the last 3 weeks about traveling, it's seemed more like a revolving door. We hop in with excitement as the door is spinning in circles, all to find that we are back where we started and never got to the other side.
Some precious friends of ours gave us advise. Pursue your children across the globe with all you've got, in constant prayer and guidance from the Lord. He will direct you. They know this to be true because they experienced huge frustrations finalizing their adoption from Haiti when flights were rearranged and schedules disrupted, all to see later that God spared them from traveling by airplane on 9-11-01. The 9-11 that went down in the history books!
I know I keep quoting song lyrics on this blog, but it seems that when I'm in my van (which I am daily) God comforts and speaks His truths to me through songs on the radio. One hour after my disappointing phone call, I heard these words that I've heard so often but that rang so true for today.
This morning My Man was woken up by a horrible Charlie Horse at 5:15 a.m. Since it wasn't exactly a situation that encourages sleep when it was over and so close to the time the alarm would be ringing, he checked email. The email that we have been waiting for since January finally came. Our boys' visa was ready!! What joy filled our hearts as we realized that it truly could be a reality that we leave to Africa the day after tomorrow.
Several hours later, just minutes before I picked up the phone to dial the travel agent and re-book our flight, we got a call. A call from our agency to hold out. It appears that there is a lull right now on the completion of adoptions. She didn't want us traveling until things settled and folks were coming home unless we were able to stay indefinitely.
You might think I would have hung up and burst into tears. It's happened many time in this process. You might also think that despair and intense desperation would consume me all day. That's happened multiple times too. But it was strange. I felt a peace. Yes, we were highly disappointed, but there was a peace deep inside. All I can say to explain it is that we have been plunging forward with a passion like a Mama Bear getting her cubs. All the while as we plunge forward, we pray constantly for the Lord to guide us in each step. When a door is shut, I know THE ONE who shut it. I can praise God knowing that this is His hand guiding us. With the roller coaster we've been on, especially the last 3 weeks about traveling, it's seemed more like a revolving door. We hop in with excitement as the door is spinning in circles, all to find that we are back where we started and never got to the other side.
Some precious friends of ours gave us advise. Pursue your children across the globe with all you've got, in constant prayer and guidance from the Lord. He will direct you. They know this to be true because they experienced huge frustrations finalizing their adoption from Haiti when flights were rearranged and schedules disrupted, all to see later that God spared them from traveling by airplane on 9-11-01. The 9-11 that went down in the history books!
I know I keep quoting song lyrics on this blog, but it seems that when I'm in my van (which I am daily) God comforts and speaks His truths to me through songs on the radio. One hour after my disappointing phone call, I heard these words that I've heard so often but that rang so true for today.
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
What you all probably want to know is WHEN do you get to travel. Good question. We have no idea if it's next week or at Christmas. All we know is that we will be ready when we get the green light. All papers are good to go. Suitcases are almost completely packed. And we are ready to get to the other side of the revolving door.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Living on a Roller Coaster
For months I didn't post on this blog because our case was at a standstill.
Now I haven't posted on this blog because the status of our situation changes almost daily.
I don't know if I should tell you everything that has happened in the past month or just say it's been nuts. I think your eyes would glaze over with my adoption lingo and I might start ranting or sobbing or both so let's just fast forward to our present situation.
The biggest most wonderful news (which you probably already know, but I will proclaim loudly again) is that we meet the criteria to leave the country with our boys. It's a sad situation with many details but the country is temporarily closed for finalizing and leaving the country with adopted kiddos. The only ones who may complete the process for the time are those who meet a criteria and we happen to be in that bunch. We are confident God ordained this time to be for us to go!
One of our big hurdles upon entering country will be to go through a 3 step process with the government. Drop off papers, be interviewed, and then receive papers to leave country with boys. Some who meet that criteria have completed these 3 steps in a timely fashion. Some who meet this criteria have been waiting in country a month and a half without knowing why they are waiting.
For us personally, we knew we should purchase tickets when we are granted our sons' visas from the embassy there. There was some misunderstanding last week and we thought we had the visa when we did not. A flight was booked for tomorrow. Then canceled. Then re-booked for Friday. This morning canceled. We will re-book when we have that visa in hand, otherwise we feel we will be in country longer than is necessary.
We hope to leave within 7-10 days but will be ready to hop a flight at the end of this week if the Lord performs an international miracle and our sons' visas are granted early.
We are so, so blessed by our family of believers rallying around us during this time and offering to help. We are blessed and feel loved!! Thank you. Thank you. My Man's precious parents have offered to stay in our home and keep all 6 Fish Sticks while we are away. This will help tremendously keeping them in their home with their siblings as a family. My folks will be helping by taking the Fish Sticks for visits. We have not been away from our kids for more than a couple of nights so this is a pretty big deal for us. We hope that our process of picking up the boys will be 3-4 weeks, but totally understand that nothing is sure.
Here are some solid ways you can pray specifically for our family right now:
1. That we would receive confirmation on the boys' visas ASAP.
2. Safe travels on our 24 hour trip.
3. That our Fish Sticks will be a blessing to their grandparents in our absence, that things would go smoothly and that their time away from us won't be too difficult for either of us.
4. That the families stuck in country now will be granted proper paperwork to leave as families.
5. That we will be able to complete the 3 step process in country in a timely manner and that we will be able to return (the 4 of us) all together in time for Christmas.
There are many more, but I will leave it with 5 practical ones right now. Thank you so much for the encouragement, love, prayers and support we have felt during this roller coaster process.
Now I haven't posted on this blog because the status of our situation changes almost daily.
I don't know if I should tell you everything that has happened in the past month or just say it's been nuts. I think your eyes would glaze over with my adoption lingo and I might start ranting or sobbing or both so let's just fast forward to our present situation.
The biggest most wonderful news (which you probably already know, but I will proclaim loudly again) is that we meet the criteria to leave the country with our boys. It's a sad situation with many details but the country is temporarily closed for finalizing and leaving the country with adopted kiddos. The only ones who may complete the process for the time are those who meet a criteria and we happen to be in that bunch. We are confident God ordained this time to be for us to go!
One of our big hurdles upon entering country will be to go through a 3 step process with the government. Drop off papers, be interviewed, and then receive papers to leave country with boys. Some who meet that criteria have completed these 3 steps in a timely fashion. Some who meet this criteria have been waiting in country a month and a half without knowing why they are waiting.
For us personally, we knew we should purchase tickets when we are granted our sons' visas from the embassy there. There was some misunderstanding last week and we thought we had the visa when we did not. A flight was booked for tomorrow. Then canceled. Then re-booked for Friday. This morning canceled. We will re-book when we have that visa in hand, otherwise we feel we will be in country longer than is necessary.
We hope to leave within 7-10 days but will be ready to hop a flight at the end of this week if the Lord performs an international miracle and our sons' visas are granted early.
We are so, so blessed by our family of believers rallying around us during this time and offering to help. We are blessed and feel loved!! Thank you. Thank you. My Man's precious parents have offered to stay in our home and keep all 6 Fish Sticks while we are away. This will help tremendously keeping them in their home with their siblings as a family. My folks will be helping by taking the Fish Sticks for visits. We have not been away from our kids for more than a couple of nights so this is a pretty big deal for us. We hope that our process of picking up the boys will be 3-4 weeks, but totally understand that nothing is sure.
Here are some solid ways you can pray specifically for our family right now:
1. That we would receive confirmation on the boys' visas ASAP.
2. Safe travels on our 24 hour trip.
3. That our Fish Sticks will be a blessing to their grandparents in our absence, that things would go smoothly and that their time away from us won't be too difficult for either of us.
4. That the families stuck in country now will be granted proper paperwork to leave as families.
5. That we will be able to complete the 3 step process in country in a timely manner and that we will be able to return (the 4 of us) all together in time for Christmas.
There are many more, but I will leave it with 5 practical ones right now. Thank you so much for the encouragement, love, prayers and support we have felt during this roller coaster process.
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