Know What This Means?

There's been a lot of silence on this blog and there's a logical explanation for this silence....because there's nothing to report.  We're just waiting....and waiting....and waiting.

But as of this week, I'm busy with our adoption but not exactly doing something that I ever hoped to do.  I'm updating our home study.  A home study expires after 18 months and must be up to date all the way through the adoption process.  Our fingerprints for Immigration and Citizenship expire after 15 months and another important form expires after 18 months.

So I find myself updating all of them.  More physician reports, home visits, financial records, criminal background checks, pet rabies vaccinations even, and trips to have them notarized.

We appreciate all the prayers that are said on our behalf and for our boys.  PLEASE keep them coming.  We need the intercession.  Don't hesitate to ask me for updates.  Some of you seem to think it makes me feel worse that they are still not hear when I'm asked for updates, but it reminds me that we are loved and cared for by friends who ask.  It's easy to think you might be forgotten when you are in a holding tank like we are in now.  Thank you all for caring for us during this long journey and encouraging us in the Lord.

Lots and Lots of Papers

Back to Fundraising

When we got our matching grant from LifeSong and several big donations from friends, the total amount was almost exactly what we were going to owe our agency for our last adoption payment.

Due to the delays in our paperwork and the additional time in processing, we have continued to receive bills for monthly interim care of our boys.  While we are so thankful for interim care and are firm believers in the difference that it makes in the lives of our kids while they wait, the cost of it has been paid by our grants.

I had a surplus of supplies from our fundraising efforts in Dec. and Jan. and decided to cancel my Etsy shop and create a blog (because a blog is FREE!) and try to continue to sell the remains of my wares, in addition to a few more things that I have enjoyed creating.

Please check out the blog and pass along to others.  It's a great place to shop for friends, birthday parties, teachers and family and support a great cause at the same time.  I appreciate it so much!

www.fishsticksforafrica.blogspot.com

One Year Ago Today

From my journal this morning:

August 7, 2013

Isaiah 41:8-10

But you, Israel, My servant,

Jacob whom I have chosen,

Descendant of Abraham, My friend,

You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,

And called from the remotest parts,

And said to you, you are My servant,

I have chosen you and not rejected you.

Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God,

I will strengthen you, surely I will help you

Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I remember vividly one year ago TODAY when we told our agency that the photo they had sent was our boys.  They were the ones chosen before time to be a Fish Stick.  Somehow I knew instantly that they were ours.  I never thought we would hit the one year mark without them home.  I never thought this process would have been so hard.  I never envisioned hang ups and waits like this. 

God, please let us raise them; let us teach them to know and love YOU; let me touch them, kiss them, love them; let me cry at their weddings and cheer at their graduations.  Let me kiss their boo boos and pray over their fears.

Amen

This Is What I'm Sure Of

HE IS WITH US

Remember when your hope is lost and faith is shaken
Remember when you wonder if you're gonna make it
There's a hand stretched out through your deepest doubt
We can't pretend to see the ending or what's coming up ahead
To know the story of tomorrow
But we can stay close to the One who knows
We can trust our God
He knows what He's doing
Though it might hurt now
We won't be ruined
It might seem there's an ocean in between
But He's holding on to you and me
And He's never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always
We believe there is purpose, there is meaning in everything
We surrender to His leading
He wants nothing more than to have us close
We can trust our God
He knows what He's doing
Though it might hurt now
We won't be ruined
It might seem there's an ocean in between
But He's holding on to you and me
And He's never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always
Our faith is sealed
Our hope is real
Come what may
We're not afraid
Our faith is sealed
Our hope is real
Come what may
We're not afraid
We're not afraid
We can trust our God
Always, always
We can trust our God
Always, always
We can trust our God
He knows what He's doing
Though it might hurt now
We won't be ruined
It might seem there's an ocean in between
But He's holding on to you and me
And He's never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always, always
He is with us, He is with us
Always
Our God is with us

-- Love & The Outcome

A Bear Hug from God

Have you ever been given a hug - like a great, big bear hug - when you really needed one?  And when you feel that squeeze, you just break down crying - because that's just what you needed?  The strong embrace of someone saying "I love you."  "Hang in there."  "I'm here for you."  "I care for you."?

Today I got that hug, but it wasn't from a friend.  It wasn't from family.  It was from my Heavenly Father and I got it loud and clear.  He loves us.  He wants to tell us to hang in there.  He's here for us.  He cares for us.

Last night I got a text from My Man's cousin.  She lives here in Nashville and was adopted with her twin sister as babies.  She and her sister have been a great source of encouragement to me in this process and are always interceding through prayer on our behalf.  I don't see her often though - maybe like once or twice a year.  She texted and asked me to lunch today.  As we sat down to lunch she said, "I know this may sound strange and you might be wondering why I asked you to lunch out of the blue, but as I left church yesterday, I looked at your church across the street and knew that God was saying your name to me over and over.  I asked God what He wanted me to do for you and He told me to pray over you.  I just want to be obedient to Him."

Needless to say, this was the beginning of my hug from God.  We talked.  I cried.  She encouraged and spoke God's truth into my heart, and she prayed for us, our family and our boys before saying good bye.

I drove away in awe of the God I serve who had stooped down to lowly me, despite my fears and helpless pleas, and gently reminded me of His presence and love.

At 8:30 tonight as I was tucking my Fish Sticks in bed, the phone rang from an unfamiliar number.  It was an older man from church who is friends with my in laws.  He started by saying, "I know this might sound crazy, but God has told me to call you and for me and my wife to pray for your family and your adoption.  I almost drove to your house to pray in your driveway but I didn't want you to think we were nuts." 

It was too much for me and I instantly broke into sobs.  Now who sounds crazy?

I told him about my lunch with My Man's cousin and how God had just used him in a mighty way to reaffirm to me that He is with us and loves us. 

As he finished his sweet prayer over the phone, I felt the huge arms of my Heavenly Father squeeze just a bit tighter before looking me in the eye to tell me He loves me!

Who could ask for more?  I'm humbled and loved tonight by Almighty God.

GOD IS WITH US.

The Raw Truth of the Matter

I have delayed in writing this post.  One, because it's painful.  Two, because it's hard to say what is really on my heart and be careful how I say it and be vague enough to continue to protect our boys.

No joking, we've had a rough last couple of weeks.  The news we got from the embassy was hard to swallow.  It was the nightmare that I kept pushing aside in my thoughts convinced it couldn't or wouldn't happen to us.  But here we are.

In the midst of this bad news, my mind is like Rapunzel in Tangled when she leaves the tower. 

I cry and sob and think about the real possibility that our boys could in the end be labeled "unadoptable" and placed back into an orphanage.

Then I hear that small voice say, "God is good....all the time!"

But why did this have to happen to us?  Families just weeks before us and some even weeks after us had smooth sailing and are tucking their little ones in tonight.

Then the song on the radio:  "And I never, ever have to be afraid cause one thing remains:  Your love never fails; it never gives up; it never runs out on me."

Last week I read Is. 8:9-10

Be broken, O peoples, and be shattered

And give ear, all remote places of the earth

Gird yourselves, yet be shattered

Gird yourselves, yet be shattered

Devise a plan but it will be thwarted;

State a proposal, but it will not stand,

FOR GOD IS WITH US.

We are broken and in a sense our family is shattered with 2 in another continent.  We are girded, geared for battle.  Our plans have been thwarted and I assure you, our proposals have failed. BUT GOD IS WITH US!  This we know.

I have to cling to what I DO KNOW because I don't know the why's of this process and I don't know the when's of this process.

And if my God is with me, who then should I fear?  You never let go through the calm and through the storm, through the high and through the low.  You never let go of me!  Still I will praise you!

Their cowboy room waiting.  2 Fish Sticks even donated matching teddies to them.

And for those of you who just wanted the bullet points of what is next and how can you pray...listen up.

We are waiting to hear from Homeland Security.  They have one of 2 responses to our paperwork:  intent to deny a visa OR request for more information.  PRAY FOR A REQUEST FOR MORE INFORMATION!

We then have 1 month to respond with all the information they could ever need to see the validity of our court documents.  PRAY THAT ALL OF OUR AFFIDAVITS WILL BE COLLECTED AND COMPLETE QUICKLY!

We wait to hear their final response (probably another 30 days):  visa given or visa denied.  PRAY THAT OUR VISA WILL BE GIVEN.

I swapped out the winter for the summer, but might need to do it again.

I know some people are reassuring that "all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord" and while I know that verse to be true and from God, I also know that the definition of "good" in this verse does not imply that I get what I want if my intentions are pure.  Do I think that there is a possibility that although God called us to this process to add 2 more children from Africa into our family that He knew that we would never have the privilege to raise them as our own?  That possibly He has other plans for their lives and our lives?  That maybe He's using this adoption process to refine us into the likeness of His Son?  Yes, I firmly believe that is possible.  Do I like it?  No, but I cling to what I do know.  God loves us and He loves our boys.  God cares for us and is about the business of molding us into His likeness. 

That doesn't change my passion to get my boys home, but it causes me to stay by the side of my Father more and confirm daily the truths laid forth for me in His Word.

The Easter baskets and matching Easter shirts sit untouched.  The footed pajamas still have the tags and were placed in the attic.  The car seats will probably need to be exchanged for a booster.  The diapers will be shared with another (no complaints there though).  The swimming shorts and flip flops will probably need to be packed soon too.  But we press on because.....GOD IS WITH US.

These I think will need to be donated to my niece or nephew.  I don't think they'll be needed anymore.

Ruth's Sad Book

My sentiments exactly.